


Shackled

by CassiaBaneberry



Series: Whumptober - Harry Potter [1]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom
Genre: 12 years in Azkaban, Azkaban, Baby Harry Potter, Gen, Holy crap - Freeform, James and Lily death, POV Sirius Black, Sad, Sad Sirius Black, Sirius is so depressing, They were 21, Whumptober, Young Sirius Black, you will cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 14:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20977337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassiaBaneberry/pseuds/CassiaBaneberry
Summary: This takes place two weeks after Sirius has been arrested and put in Azkaban. Warning, you probably will cry. I did while writing this. This is for Whumptober Day 9, "Shackled".





	Shackled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HeartOfStars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartOfStars/gifts).

For Sirius Black, everything was over. He couldn’t move, didn’t want to. His hands were shackled to the rough stone wall, wrist red and chafed. 

He felt an utter sense of hopelessness that had nothing to do with the dementors patrolling the halls. How could he not? Two of his best friends were dead, and their son was an orphan. All because of him. How could he have been so stupid?

Why hadn’t he just stayed with Harry? Oh merlin, little Harry. He would never know how wonderful his parents had been. Never know what it was like to be loved. 

Silent sobs racked his body. He had been in Azkaban for two weeks. The worst weeks of his young life. Here there was no escape from the pain.

A dementor glided past his cell, bringing a trail of cold air that froze his bones. He would have given anything for a dementor’s kiss. Then he wouldn’t have to live with the guilt that weighed on him day and night; he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain. 

“What are you waiting for!” He screamed. “Just kill me!” 

The dementor didn’t give any indication that it had heard him, continuing to glide past.

“Kill me!” He screamed again. His voice was hoarse from days without making a sound. “Please!” 

He struggled against his chains then, trying to get closer to the door, to give the foul creature a reason to end his sorry life. But he could barely move an inch. 

He fell back against the wall. He was sobbing openly now, the same scene running over and over in his mind, his own personal hell.

_ Sirius appeared with a crack at the end of a dark street. Everything was covered in an early October snowfall, white and eerie.  _

_ He made his way quickly down the street and stopped at a small cottage. It was nondescript. No name on the mailbox, no toys in the yard. Not even lights in the windows.  _ Odd. They should be putting Harry to bed by now.

_ He quickly walked up to the front door and wrapped three times. “Prongs, open up. Its Padfoot.”  _

_ No answer. He tried again. Nothing. _

_ They should be home. Dumbledore had given the explicit instructions. He had also given Sirius instructions not to visit the Potters. Not until they knew for sure they were safe. But this was too important.  _

_ He knocked one more time. “Merlins bollocks.” He growled, twisting the doorknob. _

_ He had fully expected it to be locked, but to his surprise and horror, it opened. He slowly stepped inside. “Prongs? Lily?” He called, closing the door behind him.  _

_ Then he heard Harry crying. He ran up the stairs, tripping over something heavy in his haste. He hit the ground, coming face to face with the wide, glassy eyes of James Potter.  _

_ Sirius cried out and scrambled backwards, unable to take his eyes off him.  _

_ James was lying on the ground, his arms twisted at odd angles and his glasses askew.  _

_ “James?” Sirius whispered, hoping, praying that he would wake up, brush himself off and laugh.  _ “I got you good didn’t I?” 

_ But that never happened. Harry cried again, louder and more desperately.  _

_ Sirius thought he might die then and there. He certainly wanted too.  _

_ He got to his feet. He was shaking uncontrollably. _

_ “I am so sorry James.” He whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m too late.”  _

_ He gave his dead friend a wide berth as he stepped around him and stumbled up the rest of the stairs.  _

_ “Lily? Please tell me you’re okay.” Sirius almost begged, coming to Harry’s room. At least Harry was crying.  _

_ He reached for the door, stopping for a long moment, terrified of what he might see. If Lily was dead, he didn’t know if he could take it.  _

_ He opened the door and there she was, lying on the ground. Her red hair was fanned around her like some sort of halo, her eyes open wide.  _

_ Sirius dropped to his knees then. “Oh Lily.” He whispered, a sob tearing through him. He reached out, brushing his fingers over the tear track that was still wet on her face.  _

_ He knew it was all over. His worst fears finally realized. Voldemort had gotten to them. Had  _ killed  _ them, and he knew it was all his fault.  _

_ Harry’s cries had grown weaker. Sirius, looked up at the crib silhouetted by moonlight. Sirius stood, taking the few shakey steps to look at his little godson.  _

_ He was scared to touch him, to hold him, in case it was just a trick of the mind. In case Harry was dead too.  _

_ On his little forehead, there was a bright red cut in the shape of a lightning bolt. _

_ He tentatively reached out, brushing his soft, tufty black hair back. Harry only screamed louder.  _

_ Sirius flinched, biting his lip to hold back his own screams. He picked him up then, holding him close. “Shhh.” He whispered, his voice trembling.  _

_ “Everything’s going to be alright. Uncle Pads had got you.”  _

_ He knew it was a lie. Nothing was alright. Nothing would ever be alright. Especially not for Harry.  _

_ Why Voldemort had let him live, he had no idea. If he had wanted him dead, he certainly could have done it. Why did he burst into the Potter’s house- Sirius couldn’t bare to think anything. Couldn’t bear to imagine that monster murdering his friends. His  _ family. _ _

_ All he could focus on now was getting Harry out of there. Away from the corpses of his parents.  _

_ He pressed Harry’s face gently against his shoulder, shielding him with his body as he made his way past Lily, past James.  _

_ He came to the front door and opened it, stumbling into the front lawn. He knew it was dangerous to be out here, in plain sight of the neighbors, but he didn’t care.  _

_ “Sirius!” Came a loud voice. A familiar one.  _

_ He looked up, spotting Hagrid as he came towards him. All Sirius could do was watch him, desperate to keep his composure for Harry’s sake.  _

_ “Sirius, what happened? What's goin’ on?” Hagrid asked, worry clear in his voice as he looked down at Sirius, holding Harry as if he would never let go.  _

_ “They’re dead.” Sirius whispered, not looking up at him. He couldn’t keep the sobs back now. They came hard and fast, his whole body shaking. “James and Lily are dead.” _

  
  



End file.
